So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize