so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
