She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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