Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
