U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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