the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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