I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
