she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Someone signed my nipple.
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