Cold hands, warm shart.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
