Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
