You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
