Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
