just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
