He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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