as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
