i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
