we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
