are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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