What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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