I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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