also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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