I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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