you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
