i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Randomize
