The maid of honor just puked.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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