His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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