Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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