You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
thus making me awesome and them whores
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
