nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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