i need an iv and a liver transplant
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
