Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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