He is an equal opportunity slut.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
