Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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