Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
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