no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
