rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
