If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you win again, gameday.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
