she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize