Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
