Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
