I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Drake has all the answers
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
