How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
