Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
