THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
