Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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