HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You may now shotgun with the bride
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
