I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
even my farts smell like vagina
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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