Best friends brother. Beat that.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
