$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
