That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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