marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I smell stomach acid.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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