He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
