Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
