That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
