I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
