Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
50% drunk capacity currently
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
