Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
