i jhust puked up my retainher.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
