Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
