My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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