Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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