please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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