How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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