I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
