Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
In America we eat man semen.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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