coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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