His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
