Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
a search helicopter?!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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